Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A new name for the Manskin: are you fore or against?

Did you hear the news about Luke Durbridge in Duninyonglongdong, winning the Australia Road National Championship?


And the wiener takes it all!

He's not cocky, he just put in a good showing.  He's raised the bar for the rest of his generation, and now he's circumspect. He's made the cut.  He's an active member of the cycling community, and if he's too revealing, he shouldn't be penilised. He's going to dicktate the direction of road cycling for the next little while, but don't worry. He's not necessarily a crazy cyclist just because you can see his nutz.

I'm sorry. That was just wrong. 

I can't help it, though, it's like an involuntary tic, this need to explore the hidden depths and outer limits of bad comedy. I'm frustrated, because I've scanned my limited lexicon looking for a word for this phenomenon, for these looky-loo man-bits, but de nada.  I checked the urban dicktionary, too, but again...

It's not like it's anything new.  It's out there everywhere from Freddy Merury to Rudolph Nureyev, but nobody is talking about it.  I am here to change all that.

 After all, everyone knows you'll find a few camel toes amongst Canada's beaver population. 
 It's a given.


Yet no-one can tell me what you call that special, sports-specific look on a guy.  I'm not talking about the nasty, moose-knuckle you see on elderly, overweight car salesmen in too-tight polyester suits, or sometimes on shrink-wrapped 1970's rock stars.


I'm talking about the full-frontal happiness sported by guys mounting the podium.


For gals who don't go for Cipo, it's a no fly zone, but no matter what you call it, I call it proof positive that riding a bike feels good. If you're Mark Cavendish, and you have more than one sweeeeeeet ride, then win or lose, you'll have something to celebrate...


For those of us girls looking for reasons to celebrate, the skin-suit is an often overlooked little gem. Even winter sports offer a few options.  You could check out the Bits'n'Bobsledding, or the Doubles Luge, for example.

the KY team giving a new spin on going down
In Vancouver 's flamboyant West End, you'll find tons of guys walking down Davie Street in tight yoga pants. That's the thought which comes to mind when I hear the words LuluLemons. 



In the Olympics the whole phenomenon caused quite a row, didn't it? 


Don't be too hard-on him.

Heh heh.  I'm really enjoying this. Again, my humble apologies. Seriously. I've been looking forward to reporting back to you on what I find at Taboo, remember. My mind is in my pants, which is why I've gone waaaaay beyond stretching the boundaries of good taste.



Ooooh... live demonstrations.  Me likey.  I wonder if we can test drive the gear, too...

I dared the man to dress up for the event and wear something to show off his assets, a la Freddie...
you know, to put his best foot forward,


but he claims he's a bit shy of twelve inches 
and he says you won't catch him out in spandicks unless it's astride the Argon 18.

Aha!
 That's it.  Out of the mouth of babes... my word. 

 Spandicks.

Now I'm happy.


11 comments:

  1. ...have a good time & i'm sure you won't let the mores & tradtions of others dicktate your fun...

    ...(side note)...btw...as shapely as you are, miss canada, you need to get on a bike & beef up those calves...too many straight lines there, baby...
    ...talk to our girl babble on...she'll set you on the right course...now, about that camel toe.........

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, and nope, I surely won't let other people's opinions slow me down... I rarely do.

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    2. ...let's be honest...i already knew that & applaud you for it but i was looking for a clever (???) way to insert (hmmm) "...dicktate..." into the mix...

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  2. Thanks for worsening my small man complex. Sheesh.

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  3. Too much junk in this post for me.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I wondered whether a photo of the bruise on my ass might be an easier sell...

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  4. Still Moose-Knuckle.

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  5. Looks like that bottom was painted on her. Like Demi Moore in Vanity Fair. P.S. Shots you took of yourself at the lake, a bunch of posts ago, you're looking fine.

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  6. Babble,
    This might amuse you.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ36S3d1CaU
    Am I the only one not watching Orca Swimfree and the Yellow Slime tonight?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Yes, it's right up my alley.

      Delete