Monday 5 May 2014

What you resist persists: taking another spin around the feedback loop and promoting the elixir that cells itself!

Hello from Vancouver!  

Stupid o'clock in Stanley Park this week.
Ok, so there are a few things on the agenda today.  First of all, to the lovely reader who ever so kindly upgraded my Strava account to premium... Wow.  Thank you!!  That was very kind of you.  :D  xo

And to that other very thoughtful person, the one in Nevada who went out and purchased a tongue scraper, wrapped it in paper and put it in a box,  and then wrapped the box and shipped it off to Vancouver? Thank you kindly, too.  Just one thing, though... er... what's up with the box?


Now, I can't speak to the situation in Nevada these days, precisely. I do know that when my dear old Aunt lived in Fredricksburg, VA in 2010, she couldn't get a high speed internet connection for love nor money.  She lived in what is arguably the most densely populated seaboard on the planet and yet she was told her town was too "rural" to qualify for high speed access. Unbelievable. At the time I figured it was part of the US government's program to dumb down the population, but then I've become a little cynical in my middle years. Anyhoo. I would have thought that padded envelopes, which do in fact fit inside your average mailbox, were ubiquitous in this day and age.You'd think that a place so renowned for being an entertainment mecca would have those little bubblewrap envelopes you'll find in any kinkos anywhere. Still, it's entirely possible that the padded envelope skipped Nevada the very same way that high speed broadband skipped Virginia.  You know. The way I missed the tongue-scrapers next to the toothbrushes.. 

Anything is possible.



Right?! Anything.  If you can imagine it... 

I love it. What a concept, a bespoke little tool like that. Thank you, Nevada friend. :) Plus, if it weren't for the trip to the post office to pick up that parcel of tongue scraper, I might never have remembered to take the photo of the remnants of the original Georgia St viaduct. So that's a good thing. I had fun with that post, when all was said and done.  Oh!  Also, I was right about the scraping/drinking water first thing in the morning. Ha!  So you're doing it, right? Do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it!! <3  :D  

It really helps, in the same way a ride at dawn sets you up for the day.


Ok, so there's something we really have to talk about.

Er. Dooders. I'm shocked.  Seriously. I can't believe it.  My very small brain often needs to be spoon fed, but you were meant to connect the dots. I am all about feedback, though, and the evidence is abundantly clear.  You haven't figured it out yet. It's crazy.  After all, we're CYCLISTS.  Right?  I can't believe something of this magnitude eludes you, and yet evidently it's true. 

I was duty bound to give you the kiss list first because it really is a sound foundation for a healthy body, heart, and mind. You remember it, right?  The KISS list is the short-hand mantra for a long-haul lifestyle: 

move bounce breathe purify love-a-lot laugh and sleep.

You already know I am peddling my ass. In the quest for quantum healing of my sick n twistedness,  I've learned the art of making a perfect ass of myself. It's not all about ass, either.  My legs are ripped, too... 


Sometimes I want to wear Superman tights and save the world. I am definitely trying to make it a better place by spreading health, happiness and wellness. And perfect ass-ness.  I want to help you express your best self, to Be the change you want to see in this world.

AND THAT'S THE THING!!

I GAVE YOU THE DOPE.  Ok, sure it was sort of on the down-low, but I slipped you the old magic handshake!  I gave you the modern world's solution to everything AND YOU DIDN'T TAKE IT!  What kind of cyclists ARE you, anyway?  Hmmmmmm?  



Listen.  The  KISS list is all well and fine, and you already know you're going to hear all about it ad nauseum, but let's be honest.  Let's cut to the chase and talk about the pink elephant in the middle of the velodrome, mmmkay? Cycing is all about cheating.  Seriously. If you think about it, you'll have to admit that "taking the easy way out" is the very essence of the sport. What, you don't believe me?  Do you suffer from some delusion of noble intent? Ok, then tell  me. If not for cheating, how else is it possible to go SO fast with SO little effort expended? Hmmm?! You see?  I rest my case.  

It's the nature of the beast.


Bikes are the best form of go-fast cheating.

Cycling is a no-brainer and dope is for dope.  It's a perfect fit. The mere scent of the fount-of-vitality in a bottle should have all of you clever Freds queuing up to try it out.  It's a go-fast supplement.  Forget Red Bull...  

Protandim is perfect. It's naturopathic.  It's potent. Five plant extracts work together to stimulate your body's own production of powerful anti-oxidants in the form of Nrf2, something everyone has in abundance as children and youth, but less so as they age. Oxidative stress is the foundation of ageing and disease, and I am offering you a lovely little tablet to help you combat exactly that. Protandim reduces oxidative stress in the body by 40% in three weeks.  

Would you ignore the elixer of youth itself?

Oh wait.
Are you a fred's fred, a card carrying member of dorkdom?  


Hooray! Me, too! :D  
Don't worry. Protandim is WADA approved, and safe for people of all sporting stripes.

Try it.  Click here and give it a go. Within a month or two, people will be asking you what you're doing differently...


  And I want to know, too. How is your body changing?
Please share your stories with me, ok? 

21 comments:

  1. Very interesting. I think I will give it a go. Whilst (oooh, the internationalness of 'whilst'!), I come out of my winter snow induced hybernation, it's cool to see how things improve with miles and effort. Sometimes you feel like you don't have enough air capacity or circulative capacity and sometimes the muscles say UNCLE up hill as you're breathing fine and the heart and stuff feels like it has reserve to spare.

    Cheers!
    vsk / NYC

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    Replies
    1. Hooray! :D Your body will thank you. It takes almost a month to feel the changes, but look out. The feedback I get from this stuff is fantastic. For example, one girlfriend has no more need for the asthma medication she has taken for the better part of her life. Any chance you've had a physical lately? It's really cool to note the changes in your blood chemistry, for example.

      What I did was to become a preferred customer so the Canadian price became $45 instead of $60. I then bought a three month supply so that I didn't have to pay shipping. Then I called the centre and changed my order to once every three months. I like to be thrifty... :)

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  2. I think I'm going to skip the protandim and just start transfusing the blood of the young -- works for mice and vampires.

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    1. Mice?!
      It definitely works for vampires, though. THEY live a long time!

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  3. dang html... http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/05/an-injection-of-young-blood-improves-memory-in-older-mice/361644/

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    1. Ew. Oh dear, and there's no potential for abuse there. What could possibly go wrong?

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  4. My suppliments are Folgers and Marlboros daily with weekly Coors treatments. Glazed donuts are rocket fuel too. Especially when Krispy Kream has the "hot" light on. Whoa buddy, hang on!

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    1. Well you have three of the major food groups covered there, with the donuts and the coffee and the beer but you forgot the soda pop.

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  5. You could have emailed me that you were in the market for a tongue scraper.

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  6. Ms. Babble,

    Here is the list of diseases/conditions that drinking water first thing in the morning is supposed to CURE, according to "Japanese doctors:"

    Epilepsy -- No Way, No How, Obesity -- maybe, eventually,
    Tuberculosis -- No Way, No How, Meningitis -- No Way, No How,
    Kidney diseases -- possibly helps with symptoms, Vomiting -- possibly,
    Gastritis -- possibly helps with symptoms, Diabetes -- No Way, No How,
    Constipation -- maybe,
    Uterine diseases -- are they marketing this to women only?
    Ear and throat diseases -- maybe helps with symptoms

    Yes, most of us should drink more water, but this sounds like a scam, except they're not selling me anything!

    -NHcycler

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    1. Yeah, I don't know about any cures, but what I do believe is that it flushes out your systems and gives your internal organs a sort of jump start which sets you up for a healthier bio-chemical state of being all day long. Have you tried it? There is a certain feeling which happens fifteen or twenty minutes after you drink which I haven't been able to attain any other way. I do it every single morning, because I never seem to have an empty stomach at any other time of day. And I can't stress enough how important it is to my general health and wellness. Try it for a few weeks and then take stock and see if anything important has shifted for you. I bet something major changes for the better.

      I double dog dare you to try it. What have you got to lose?

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    2. All right, I'll try that.

      To get to the 6AM shift, I'll wake up at my normal 0330, chug down the H2O, "Brush (my) teeth and perform basic ... hygiene," then after 45 minutes, try to eat something that will agree with me for the 16 mile commute.

      Actually, after typing this, it doesn't sound too unreasonable...

      I still think those "cure" claims are nothing short of outrageous.

      -NHcycler

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    3. By the way, I try to arrive at work at 0530 to give myself time to shower and/or take care of a mechanical on the way. It doesn't usually take me 90 minutes for a sixteen mile ride!

      -NHcycler

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  7. You seem really sweet, and this blog is lovely, but this is the second time I've heard someone from the Northwest complaining about the packaging a gift was sent in. It's a gift! The extra packaging could be useful for something (perhaps a nestbox for a small woodland creature). Or you could reuse it, package a gift for someone else and send it on. Or you could burn it in the fires you keep going through the long darkness. Just relax about the packaging.

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    1. Fair enough, Jon Webb, fair enough. It was a kind and thoughtful gesture, and I put that scraper to good use every day. But I prefer to burn calories under the covers to stay warm, instead of igniting packing tape. :)

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  8. Are you one of the rare hotties in the Life Extension crowd?
    I just started blueberries into the food cycle...

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/author/charlotte-allen

    vsk

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    1. LOL! Thank you. I'm definitely not bony enough to qualify for that crowd, but like him, I believe anything is possible. The whole quantum healing possibility really intrigues me, and even I've experienced a bit of the reverse ageing process in myself, so I know there is some room to create change. :)

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    2. Deinfitely not bony !! Real woman! Your muscles are probably stronger than bone! I am jealous.
      Have a good one!!

      vsk

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